26G's

So Coleman did not get into the fancy schmancy private school. Not terribly disappointed, although deep down I really did want him to get in. But even deeper, deeper down I was hoping to be spared the dilemma of the tuition. 26K, 26 Large, 26G's.

And because it's a private school, there's no school bus. We have to take him there and pick him up. For Twenty six thousand dollars, somebody should come to our house in the morning, get him up, dress him, feed him and take him to school WITHOUT waking me up.

I'm willing to compromise, I'll pick him up at 2:30.

Slide, Tap

Roz was rehearsing today. Coleman and I took a trip to the Apple store, the power cord on my laptop wasn't working so I went there to exchange it.
If you've never been to the Apple store, they have this bank of computers, about two feet off the ground, the perfect height for curious toddlers. Any day of the week you'll see 2, 3, and 4 year olds sitting at these computers just clicking away.
They are not afraid, not intimidated, not phased at all by computers.

This is a picture of Coleman showing Grandpa Roosevelt how to use my iPhone!! Slide, slide, tap, tap, slide, tap. A few more lessons and Grandpa will be ready to go out on his own!

I kissed a girl

So the big song for last summer 2008 was "I kissed a girl." Sung by a girl. So there was an uproar, because OMG girls are kissing girls and they like it. I read a blog by a father who was frightened for his young child, frightened by a world where his child would learn about "them." So him and people like him voted Yes on Prop 8, making same sex marriages illegal in the state of California - Yes Melissa Ethridge move out of California and take your tax money with you. You too Deb and Sylvia.

The two ladies in this picture are girls that I know who kiss girls. They've been kissing girls for a very long time and have been kissing each other(when the kids are out of the house) for about 5 years.

"We want to protect the family" "We need to protect the children" the frightened Yes on Prop 8 people will tell you. Protecting us from What???

My family doesn't need any protecting from girl kissers. I know I live in NY and I'm in the arts, so it goes without saying that I'm a left wing liberal degenerate - But let me say it loud and clear - we love these girl kissers. I trust these girl kissers with the life of my child.

The really tough looking girl kisser on the left (who is an absolute mush) has played with my son for hours. A game they invented called "sleeping, hibernating animals." Sleeping/hibernating is redundant I know, but it's their game. Nobody else, not even me will play this game with Coleman.

The other girl kisser on the right, adapted and raised 2 boys, will attend your funeral even if she's never met you and has driven us to the emergency room in the middle of the night and sat with us till all was well (more than once I'm afraid.)

They love Coleman and Coleman loves them. How are we diminished by the love of another human being? Those frightened Yes on Prop 8 people get very defensive when you remind them that not so long ago interracial couples were thought to be just as vial an assault on humanity. They say it's not the same thing - the hell it isn't!

Somebody, anybody please tell to me in a clear rational voice, why there should be a LAW against these two tax paying, law abiding, society contributing girl kissers from marrying each other if they so choose.

You may not like girl kissers marrying, it may make you uncomfortable, you probably think it's a sin - but why should it be illegal?

Please SPLAIN!

He's heeeeeeere!

Good morning President Obama. I wish my grandparents and Obama's grandparents and Martin Luther King and Coretta Scott King and Malcolm X had lived to see this day.

I also wish Jesse Helms and Bull Connor were still around.

You're absolutely right Will.I.AM - "It's A New Day."

Bite Me.

Day 4 of Roz's trip to LA, 3 more to go. Longest Coleman has been separated from his mama. He misses her a lot. He still really has no sense of time, so "she'll be back in a week" means NOTHING! His phrase for something that's happened in the past is "remember when you took me to the park last year." If it was yesterday or last week, to him it was last year. School won't start until Monday. I've tried to fill the days with stuff besides TV. Today was the toughest day. He was just cranky, cranky, cranky. I'm really good at breaking him out of his "mood." Biting works really well. I just pick up an arm or a leg and I just come at him with my teeth. He's laughing so hard he can't stand up.

Yes We Can

Look at these boys, Coleman and his buddy Delcan, first picture maybe at 9 months. The 2nd one at 4 years.
This is the future of America folks. Deal with it.

We are a part of the Rhythm Nation

My almost 4 year old son has no rhythm and it's more troubling to me than perhaps it should be. To watch his little head bop from side to side to a beat of his own creation is funny, sweet and annoying. Yes I'm stereotyping, black people and rhythm and all that, but he's a black boy who is one day gonna be a black man and although I'm sure we'll still be doing the electric slide, which is somewhat forgiving to the uncoordinated, there will be other new dances. And in order not to be a social outcast at weddings, birthday celebrations, school dances and basement parties he's going to need to learn how to move to the beat.

He's young, I don't need to worry.
He'll get it. Right?

Testing my patience

I feel like I'm slowly being dragged into this vortex I swore I would never be a part of. The damn school dance.

So Roz called me in a state, "I talked to so and so, so and so said that her son is in so and so school and that he loves it and she loves it and it would be a perfect school for Coleman." So and so school is private. In order to get him into so and so school, he has to be tested. Really! For Kindergarten!! They've made it easier, you used to have to test at each school, but now its just one test and you can send the results to as many schools as you like. This new system has a double edged sword, because if you're kid does lousy on the test, he's marked till he retires from the chicken plucking factory.

Did I mention the test is $460?

Damn you so and so.

Coleman took the test, it'll be 4 weeks before we get the results. Roz took him to the testing facility, Coleman was ushered into a room by young bouncy Traci with and I. I only mention this because there was a little girl there at the same time waiting to be tested and her tester was Dr. So and So. Why didn't we get a doctor instead of a camp counselor? Does Traci with an I have the skills to recognize my sons unearthed genius. Will Traci with an I prevent my son from getting into school so and so because she fails to see the sophistication in a little boy laughing uncontrollably every time he says the word poopy. (OK, I'm laughing now, poopy is a funny word.)

Damn you so and so.

One hour and did I mention it was $460 later - Coleman emerged from the room. What did Coleman remember from his time with Traci? He told us that he told her that "Declan's diaper exploded and baby Hoyt doesn't know how to share." Gifted and talented program here we come.

Before I mislead you, let me tell you Coleman is easily one of smartest kids in his circle. His powers of observation astound us and his vocabulary is off the chain. But at almost 4 he is very particular about when and where he will share his gifts. And it is almost NEVER when we need him to.

Damn you so and so.