He's heeeeeeere!

Good morning President Obama. I wish my grandparents and Obama's grandparents and Martin Luther King and Coretta Scott King and Malcolm X had lived to see this day.

I also wish Jesse Helms and Bull Connor were still around.

You're absolutely right Will.I.AM - "It's A New Day."

Bite Me.

Day 4 of Roz's trip to LA, 3 more to go. Longest Coleman has been separated from his mama. He misses her a lot. He still really has no sense of time, so "she'll be back in a week" means NOTHING! His phrase for something that's happened in the past is "remember when you took me to the park last year." If it was yesterday or last week, to him it was last year. School won't start until Monday. I've tried to fill the days with stuff besides TV. Today was the toughest day. He was just cranky, cranky, cranky. I'm really good at breaking him out of his "mood." Biting works really well. I just pick up an arm or a leg and I just come at him with my teeth. He's laughing so hard he can't stand up.

Yes We Can

Look at these boys, Coleman and his buddy Delcan, first picture maybe at 9 months. The 2nd one at 4 years.
This is the future of America folks. Deal with it.

We are a part of the Rhythm Nation

My almost 4 year old son has no rhythm and it's more troubling to me than perhaps it should be. To watch his little head bop from side to side to a beat of his own creation is funny, sweet and annoying. Yes I'm stereotyping, black people and rhythm and all that, but he's a black boy who is one day gonna be a black man and although I'm sure we'll still be doing the electric slide, which is somewhat forgiving to the uncoordinated, there will be other new dances. And in order not to be a social outcast at weddings, birthday celebrations, school dances and basement parties he's going to need to learn how to move to the beat.

He's young, I don't need to worry.
He'll get it. Right?

Testing my patience

I feel like I'm slowly being dragged into this vortex I swore I would never be a part of. The damn school dance.

So Roz called me in a state, "I talked to so and so, so and so said that her son is in so and so school and that he loves it and she loves it and it would be a perfect school for Coleman." So and so school is private. In order to get him into so and so school, he has to be tested. Really! For Kindergarten!! They've made it easier, you used to have to test at each school, but now its just one test and you can send the results to as many schools as you like. This new system has a double edged sword, because if you're kid does lousy on the test, he's marked till he retires from the chicken plucking factory.

Did I mention the test is $460?

Damn you so and so.

Coleman took the test, it'll be 4 weeks before we get the results. Roz took him to the testing facility, Coleman was ushered into a room by young bouncy Traci with and I. I only mention this because there was a little girl there at the same time waiting to be tested and her tester was Dr. So and So. Why didn't we get a doctor instead of a camp counselor? Does Traci with an I have the skills to recognize my sons unearthed genius. Will Traci with an I prevent my son from getting into school so and so because she fails to see the sophistication in a little boy laughing uncontrollably every time he says the word poopy. (OK, I'm laughing now, poopy is a funny word.)

Damn you so and so.

One hour and did I mention it was $460 later - Coleman emerged from the room. What did Coleman remember from his time with Traci? He told us that he told her that "Declan's diaper exploded and baby Hoyt doesn't know how to share." Gifted and talented program here we come.

Before I mislead you, let me tell you Coleman is easily one of smartest kids in his circle. His powers of observation astound us and his vocabulary is off the chain. But at almost 4 he is very particular about when and where he will share his gifts. And it is almost NEVER when we need him to.

Damn you so and so.

A Star is Born

Meet Latka. Coleman put on a pair of my flip flops, took a purse of Roz's and slung it over his shoulder, he dropped his voice an octave and when we asked him who he was, he said his name was Latka. Latka was a client who was here for his acting session with Roz.
Roz asked Latka if he would be up for an interview, he agreed -

After that Latka joined us for dinner and about half way through, he dropped his fork and I handed it to him, he said "thank you daddy," realizing he dropped character and called me daddy he said "oh Coleman is back."

Our dream for Coleman to be a banker/lawyer/Beverly Hills OB-GYN gets dimmer every day.

Seeing the future

So my two year old nephew baby Hoyt says Obama, every time he seems him on TV. My sis and bro n law taught him to do that. We were a little embarrassed because we hadn't taught Coleman who Obama is. Basically if it wasn't on the Noggin Channel (commercial free channel for preschool kids) Coleman didn't know about it. So I finally decided to introduce Coleman to Obama, fortunately it was the week he went to the middle east and Europe so he was on TV a lot. "When you see that guy on TV, you say Obama." He got the hang of it very quickly. But I never noticed how many 40 something short haired black men there were on TV, mostly reporters, cause Coleman mistook a couple of them for Obama. He's got it straight now. Really didn't take him that long. "OBAMA." "Good boy."

I'm such a political junkie. I'm tuned into every Sunday morning political show, Meet the Press (God speed Tim Russert,) Mclaughin Group, This Week with George Stephanapolous, Chris Matthews, I watch them all, even racist Fox (I believe you have to know what the enemy is saying.) I'm a little surprised at myself for taking so long to introduce him to Obama. I guess a little or big part of me is not ready to accept that America is ready to accept that this black man (yes he's black y'all) should be our next President. I just feel like everyone is waiting for the other shoe to drop. He's too perfect, he's too smart, he's too well liked, he's too educated, he's too unflappable, his wife is all of the above, his children are gorgeous. We need another four years of stupid is as stupid does.

I feel like people are waiting for the excuse not to vote for him.

He's too young - yes by all means lets elect a 72 year old man who can't lift his arms and whose medical file from only the past two years is 1200 pages.

He's an elitist - yes by all means lets elect a man with 7 homes and a private jet.

I'm not gonna worry any more. Every night, the six o'clock news leads off with a story about a black man. A black who didn't kill or rob or rape. He simply wants to change the world. That's the future.

Happy Fathers Day

Coleman wanted to get me a Dinosaur for Father's Day. It's the same thing he wanted to get Roz for Mother's Day. I got a shoulder bag to carry my laptop. Coleman calls it my man purse. "Don't forget your man purse daddy."

Twins

People say we look just alike. I don't know what the heck they're talking about.

blah, blah, blah

Parent teacher conference. - "We love Coleman, we don't understand what he's saying. We understand 2 out of every 30 words. Also you may want to get his hearing checked, we call him and call him, sometimes he doesn't respond."

That's easy I say, nothing wrong with his hearing, he's just ignoring you till you say something interesting. 30 words? Glad to know he's talking up a storm, even if it is apparently gibberish.

It was a hard thing to hear, that your son is not hearing, but it turned out to be something. Those damn ear infections, the ones he's been getting off and on his whole life, well apparently it did more damage than we thought. We took him to an ENT specialist. Doctor Arrogant says it's like Coleman is listening under water, the amount of fluid in his ears was causing up to a 40 percent hearing loss. So no wonder his speech was bad. The solution - ear tubes. Doctor Arrogant says it's a must, he's done the surgery hundreds of times, it only takes 5 minutes, he'll be better almost immediately.

Dr. Arrogant was right. Coleman had the surgery at 8am, it was over at 8:15am, we were at breakfast and he was back to normal by 10:30am. That afternoon on the subway, he had to cover his ears, the train was so loud. The only residual from the surgery - he can't get his ears wet or it will damage the tubes, so for baths and swimming and such, he has to wear this headband and ear plugs. He'll be sportin this look until he outgrows the ear tubes, 6 months to a year, give or take. Makes him look like Esther Williams (am I dating myself or what!) But he took to it without fuss.

Got Jokes

I can't believe how long it's been since I blogged. Last time is when Coleman just turned 3, he's 3 and a half now.
So much has happened in 6 months, ear surgery, speech class, growth spurts, language explosion, he seems to comprehend so much, even subtle nuances of conversation. And jokes, he's telling jokes.
Knock, Knock
Who's There?
Booty?
Booty who?
Booty and tooty. Not that funny but cute.
It's followed by hysterical laughter. And then a bow. Yes he's learned to bow - deep, theatrical, bend at the waste, arms out, bows. Definitely gets that from his mother.