Parent teacher conference. - "We love Coleman, we don't understand what he's saying. We understand 2 out of every 30 words. Also you may want to get his hearing checked, we call him and call him, sometimes he doesn't respond."
That's easy I say, nothing wrong with his hearing, he's just ignoring you till you say something interesting. 30 words? Glad to know he's talking up a storm, even if it is apparently gibberish.
It was a hard thing to hear, that your son is not hearing, but it turned out to be something. Those damn ear infections, the ones he's been getting off and on his whole life, well apparently it did more damage than we thought. We took him to an ENT specialist. Doctor Arrogant says it's like Coleman is listening under water, the amount of fluid in his ears was causing up to a 40 percent hearing loss. So no wonder his speech was bad. The solution - ear tubes. Doctor Arrogant says it's a must, he's done the surgery hundreds of times, it only takes 5 minutes, he'll be better almost immediately.
Dr. Arrogant was right. Coleman had the surgery at 8am, it was over at 8:15am, we were at breakfast and he was back to normal by 10:30am. That afternoon on the subway, he had to cover his ears, the train was so loud. The only residual from the surgery - he can't get his ears wet or it will damage the tubes, so for baths and swimming and such, he has to wear this headband and ear plugs. He'll be sportin this look until he outgrows the ear tubes, 6 months to a year, give or take. Makes him look like Esther Williams (am I dating myself or what!) But he took to it without fuss.
