So there are a ton of people out there who believe that I am some kind of anomaly, a caring black father, it shocks and saddens me.
My parents split when I was 4, dad died when I was 14 and I didn't see much of him in between. So by all rights, I should be one of those people who think black men as caring, nurturing and present, is an aberration. I am an aberration?
I don't think so.
I think all the black men out there who have been doing the do, just don't speak up enough.
Roz belongs to a couple of mother support groups, NYC MOMS and Hell's Kitchen's babies. They are big on email. On a daily basis information is shared, topics are debated and the milestones of our little ones are celebrated. They talk about everything from pre-schools and discipline to engorged breasts and yeast infections. I read ALL of the emails, every once and a while I chime in with an opinion, and another father may give some information, but it's mostly the mothers.
I have yet to see the equivalent for fathers. Are they out there some where and I just don't know about them?
I know some of us are doing things our fathers never did, like changing diapers and cleaning spit-up and doing laundry and washing dishes and staying home with child or children while wife works. Some of us are just getting comfortable with our new roles. And all of us who are silent cave-dwellers haven't a clue as to how to share.
Let me start.
I can't imagine not being in Coleman's life. I love the way he walks, the way he talks, the way he smells, the way he laughs, the way he whines, the way he eats, the way he plays, the way he sings, the way he hugs, the way he screams, the way he sleeps, everything. I'm going to be in his life and in his face everyday that God lets me.
It's not easy some days and he's not even two. Some days I can't get my work done or a decent nights sleep. Some days I can't wait for nap time or bed time or a play date or for grandma to show up. But that's OK, cause I'm gonna be in his life and in his face everyday that God lets me.
I don't want to belittle anyone's hurt or pain. There have been some bad dads. Black, white and every shade in between. This ain't about them. This is about those of us who choose to be in our children's life and in their face everyday that God lets us.
This is about Don, Roosevelt, Roosevelt Jr, Andre, Tyrone, Fred, Derek, Ali, Jamar, Gerald, Omar and Anthony, and about your great black dad. Hey guys - Say it loud, I'm a Black Dad and I'm Proud.
